becauseimval

Songs of Solomon 8:6-11

“for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.

It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.

Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.

If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.”

I was often told that you have to write what you know. But growing up didn’t make learning and knowing much uncomplicated for me. I’m not going to deny that I’ve been through a lot in my life. There were those times that I wanted to just give up and quit, to just get drunk and then pass out. Life has taught me a lot of things. So here’s what I know about life.


Emotions truthfully exist. People get happy then sad, bitter then sweet, angry then calm and miserable then cheery. But why couldn’t it just be about positive emotions? Negative emotions subsist because they serve as an indication that there is something wrong with the world. Thus, positive emotions exist because they put in the picture that everything is all right whereas negative feelings dish up actions to take a crack at providing answers to the dilemma.


Life is almost always unfair. In this planet, know that everything doesn’t go the way we planned it. Sometimes it feels like we have the whole thing flawless then something wrong happens. That every move we make seems to mess everything up and stop us from arriving at our goal. These things happen not to bring us down but to teach us how to take risk and then go up every time we go down. Life will not only strengthen us but it will bring out the most excellent in us with the intention that we will do anything and everything just to get to our goal. People’s greatest achievement is to rise every time we fall. Yes, life is almost always unfair but in the end, its right.


People constantly search for answers. The most important things in life are unseen. These are the things that last and are irreplaceable. More often than not, the world is just too hectic to become aware of the fact that the very thing that we’re looking for is right in front of us. Really it’s a cliché, life is short. Yes it is short, too short to spend it by worrying. In life, we have to learn to gaze at the optimistic side of it. Let’s become skilled at not taking everything for granted, even the smallest of things.


Life is an incessant cycle. We have to learn how ride with it. In every phase that we go through, we just have to take what we get and let go of what we lose then learn. We can’t try to win just to be beaten in the end. It’s about accomplishing and fulfilling our dreams by overcoming every hindrance that comes our way. So just surpass every battle in this game called life.


“we got one life, one shot.
what we do with it,
is up to us and
up to GOD.”

I wanna share the Greatness of the Lord. Just recently, I was confined in the hospital due to a number of things. I was in an incredible pain that i thought I was at the end. But God truly works in my life marvelously. He gave me the strength to fight it, He gave me my family and REAL FRIENDS to battle it with. He keeps healing me. His words never fail to calm me. God has kept me ALIVE everyday. I maybe sick but I got what i just need in my life. God is in control. His love will never fail us

People who avoid commitment are the ones who really know what a big thing it is or they are the ones who know the real meaning of it. They don’t get into a commitment not because they just want to have fun, explore or they’re just playing. Maybe for some, yeah those are the reasons. But it also boils down to one thing and that would be pain.

You don’t want to go through pain like over and over again. Pain can sometimes be so unbearable. It’s like you’re dead but still breathing. Maybe that’s exactly the reason why there are people who are just afraid to commit or if they choose to commit themselves, that person has to be worth it all, worth the pain.

Flings, MUs, Hook – ups or a no commitment thing, these are what we call PSEUDO – RELATIONSHIPS. You’re kind of together but not official. You know that there are no demands, no expectations, and no pressure, no nothing. It’s uncertain and if one gets cold, that’s the end of it. Ugh, hella confusing.

Keeping a fling is harder than keeping a relationship. Why? Simple. Fling is fun but you don’t know where you really stand in that person’s life unlike in a relationship. You have your boundaries and you set your limitations and if you fall, you got to be ready to take your chances.

But why do people get into flings? I think people don’t stop until they find that person they’re looking for, that person that they can really connect with. You definitely don’t want to be with a person who just doesn’t get you. You want to be with that someone who understands you even without saying anything. You’re not looking for sparks that can disappear. You want the real thing. It’s rare that your find someone you can really connect with, and if you find that person, then worth the try.

Wow, its been forever when i tapped the keyboard to write a note. haha I guess i was busy,busy with nothing :)) Not alot of people know what Im going through right now. Part of it is because just the thought of telling my story over and over again makes me tired although I wanna inspire and make other people realize that they are extremely blessed. Well, we all are.

Its been 2 years since I was diagnosed with Chronic Kidney Failure due to recurrent sore throat and since then I’ve been on treatment, 2x a week. Its called hemodialysis. Yes its tough and to think it stole my life more like killed it. This is the hardest i have to endure in my life yet. But i know with GOD, my family, really good friends, I can overcome this and I will. No giving up, I am loved.

Today is a very significant and unforgettable day for me. I was admitted to the ICU On September 2, 2008 due to an infection i got from my IJ where i used to do my treatment. I was in extreme pain that I surrendered. Days passed and in September 4, 2008 I had a cardiac arrest. Heart stopped. I was out. I flatlined for an hour. But the doctors didnt give up on me. They did everything they could just to revive me. They used a defibrillator (an electronic device that administers an electric shock of preset voltage to the heart through the chest wall) on me 7times. And with God’s grace, I came back. I was in a coma for three days but when i woke up everything was normal. No brain damage, yay right? haha

I have yet to figure out what God has planned out for me. All I know is whatever it is, its something great than I could ever imagine. Life maybe hard for me now, I even heard my ex stepmother trashing me and my family and telling people that I got my karma but it doesnt matter because I know my family loves me and thats more than enough for me to pull through this. What matters is to keep my faith in God, surround my self with my loved ones and think HEALING.

Right now I got past my depression, back on track. I have God who promised to never leave me, my family who fights with me and my good friends who always support me. These are just the things I need to get by everyday.

As i try to conquer this, I promise to bounce back higher than the tallest building in the world with or without well functioning kidneys. :))

                                                           IJ

my sister taking care of my ij.